01.04.00 Group A
*Please note that I am spelling the titles as they appear in development.

Links to other pitch sites | 12.27.99 Reviews | 12.13.99 Reviews

Pitch Review Borgies (5 is good, zero is not so good)

FANTASY

Devilman Based on a comic book, this pitch actually holds promise. I like the premise of becoming evil in order to fight evil. The pitch is weak though and needs more meat...Borgies gotta eat! One Borgie for potential. borgie.jpg (1295 bytes)
The Last Temptation Of Beth A sexual guru gets in trouble because she wants to have sex for the first time. I think there is a NC-17 here, but there aren't enough plot elements. Borgie is getting turned on, though! One Borgie. borgie.jpg (1295 bytes)
DNA Based on a  comic book. I am going out on a limb here and guessing the pitcher uses English as a second (or third) language. The pitch is just too hard to follow here and might be more fluent in another language. Of course I can barely speak English myself and I'm American...Zero Borgies.  
Plunderworld Lots of character descriptions and lofty generalities, little in the way of plot elements. One Borgie. borgie.jpg (1295 bytes)
COMEDY
Life for an actor Actually could be an interesting Arthouse film, but the pitch is too limited in its plot elements. One Borgie. borgie.jpg (1295 bytes)
Screwdriver This doesn't strike me as being too funny and I am not real impressed with the casting. Zero Borgies.  
Millinium Prison Poorly written, hackneyed idea, not enough plot elements. Zero Borgies.  
The world ends on friday "Short Cuts meets American Beauty". You need to tell us how in a non-millennium related pitch. Zero Borgies.  
Phule's Company Well-written, if unfunny, pitch.  Comedy pitches are tough, because you have to make a pitch that is both funny and worth a full length movie. One Borgie. borgie.jpg (1295 bytes)
Living My Life "The funnies movie ever!" Wrong! Martin Short is attached, so we both know it is immediately disqualified. One Borgie. borgie.jpg (1295 bytes)borgie.jpg (1295 bytes)
My Little Dick This is an example of a hilarious pitch that would make a nice sketch or bit, but might not sustain for ninety minutes. Two Big Cylindrical Borgies. borgie.jpg (1295 bytes)borgie.jpg (1295 bytes)
Linda Tripp's Interview with a Vampire It is usually a bad idea to have any question marks in your pitch and this one has at least three that I can count. Answer your own questions by fleshing out a plot. Zero Borgies.  
HollySmack This one starts out with promise, but ends in hackneyed, poorly written generalities, which is too bad.   Re-write it and resubmit, please.  One Borgie. borgie.jpg (1295 bytes)
Joe's World No new ground here and poorly written to boot.  We need some interesting plot twists and I would suggest getting a pitch doctor like Hyperboy to help out. Zero Borgies.  
Eddie's Airport I reviewed this last week. Still not funny.  
Happy Gilmore 2 See Eddie's Airport above.  
Apocalypse Cow Grady Mutombo is a great superhero name, but this plot is a little thin...I can deal with a cow invasion, but why and how! One Borgie. borgie.jpg (1295 bytes)
EPIC, WESTERN & WAR
The Truth Called Life Terrible pitch that uses too many cliches. More meat, less pithy sayings. Zero Borgies.  
the good,the lucky, the bad, and the ugly No need to remake this with (I think) the same principals. If you want to pay tribute to Sergio Leone, write your own creative Western, don't copy his. Zero Borgies.  
Near the Yukon I don't understand the pitch as it is written, but I know "striking gold" has been done before. Zero Borgies.  
ROMANTIC COMEDIES
Always A Sin Porno Director comes out of the porno directing closet.  I need more plot elements...maybe a rewrite is in order here. Zero Borgies.  
Looking For Love This is a personal ad for the pitcher with no info on the plot. Zero Borgies.  
Healthy, Wealthy, Or Wise It introduces a number of characters in the pitch, but it doesn't tell us why or how the movie will be funny...Zero Borgies.  
A Dancer's Dream The pitch touts an all-star cast, but the plot doesn't rise to the occasion.  Zero Borgies.  
DRAMATIC FILMS
The unforgettable story The pitch is so poorly written that it obfuscates what may have been an interesting story. Zero Borgies.  
Fundamentals I like the idea of an on-line Mafia, but love quadrilaterals are a bit too cliche for my taste. Zero Borgies  
72 hour life Man has 72-hours to live, decides to live life to the fullest. The question is, HOW? Zero Borgies  
The Serpent This sounds real similar to Trainspotting. I suggest renting the real thing. Zero Borgies  
Come Home Soon A promising pitch with a cop out last sentence, "A touching story, which shows how love conquers adversity." Tell us why and how. Two Borgies. borgie.jpg (1295 bytes)borgie.jpg (1295 bytes)
Daysleeper I don't like pitches that end in questions, because they leave too much up too the reader's imagination.  Try using all 85 words to flesh out your pitch. Zero Borgies.  
"Welcome to the neighborhood" Wow. Another pitch with a terrible last line. It is also poorly written, which makes it hard to ascertain whether or not we have a good plot on our hands. Zero Borgies.  
Happy Days This is too similar to recent films (Pleasantville) too compel me to vote for it. I am not crazy about adaptations anyway...only twisted ones. Zero Borgies.  
The Catcher in the Rye I don't know if a movie has ever been made out of Catcher, but even if it hasn't, this cast and director don't seem to fit the project.  I would also like to see an expanded pitch as I cut adapted works VERY little slack. Zero Borgies.  
The Knuckleball Good pitch beginning, needs more plot elements to take us through the rest of the story. Rewrite and resubmit. Two Borgies. borgie.jpg (1295 bytes)borgie.jpg (1295 bytes)
HORROR
Buffy, The Vampire Slayer, Her Angel, And The Fight For Her Life Not even an original twist on an overdone story. Borgie LOVES originality! Zero Borgies.  
Favorite Things Girl gets stalked by phone! Pitch ends in a question! This pitch is indeed scary! I do like the idea of casting Tony Hawk and might do that myself someday. One Borgie for good casting idea. borgie.jpg (1295 bytes)
Haunting Love A couple holes in this pitch and it ends in a question. Zero Borgies.  
NEMESIS I don't know what to think about this one, but it does use the "ignorance is bliss" cliche, so it can't be real great. I guess a more coherent pitch would be good here. Zero Borgies.  
Zombies Must Eat "General wackiness ensues" usually dooms a pitch and this is no exception.  I see it directed by two veteran vpers, so maybe it is a goof pitch. Zero Borgies.  
PokeDemons A three-part horror-fest that borrows from Pokemon. More originality, please. Zero Borgies.  
ACTION/ADVENTURE
Laguna Beach I usually give action pitches a break because they can still be enjoyable without having compelling plots.  This pitch is incomplete, however and uses too many cliches. One Borgie. borgie.jpg (1295 bytes)
Long after midnight Promising start, but too many generalities to keep my attention. More specific plot elements, please.! One Borgie. borgie.jpg (1295 bytes)
NOCS in azione Foreign language pitch, I have trouble with my mother tongue, etc., etc. No rating.FLP.
Duke Nukem I don't know if a VP film has been based on Duke Nuke 'Em yet, but it seems promising.  This pitch does not however, as the plot peters out before getting started and I'm not referring to the "One Eyed Monster." Zero Borgies.  
The Chasing of the Raj Borgie is hungry...throw him some MEAT!!!!! Zero Borgies.  
Knight Rider Sorry, but all the great posters and script previews aren't going to help this thing until you WRITE A DECENT PITCH! You might get lucky and slide in or have it bought in, but I would urge you to use your 85 words, unless this is the only VP film you plan on making. One Borgie. borgie.jpg (1295 bytes)
LUPIN the 3rd  This one has "comicity", but is not really interesting...needs more work. Zero Borgies.  
ANIMATED
Dikembe! Two pitches with a central character named Dikembe! What are the chances? More of a spin-off than a sequel to South Park BLU. Doesn't seem real interesting, however....you just can't improve on this classic, unless your name is Trey Parker. Zero Borgies.  
SCI-FI
A Face On The Moon Interesting premise, but this is more of a teaser than a pitch.  What happens after contact? Two Borgies. borgie.jpg (1295 bytes)borgie.jpg (1295 bytes)
there here My only guess is that my 16 month old son is now pitching movies and came up with this mess. Zero Borgies.  
Garbage World Poorly written pitch.  I would concentrate on the story of the polymorphs and their effect on humans, maybe place them on earth among us. Two Borgies. borgie.jpg (1295 bytes)borgie.jpg (1295 bytes)
Time's End This is a nice movie trailer, but I have no idea what the movie is about.  Rewrite!!! Zero Borgies.  
Under The Sea A remake of the Little Mermaid that sounds a lot like Splash. Zero Borgies for lack of originality.  
Manifest Destiny: Conflict I really like the premise here, but need more plot elements to convince me to vote.  Rewrite it and concentrate on fleshing out more of the pitch. Two Borgies. borgie.jpg (1295 bytes)borgie.jpg (1295 bytes)
Infinite Dreams Another interesting premise, but not enough for a movie.  Throw in something compelling and resubmit. One Borgie. borgie.jpg (1295 bytes)
ARTHOUSE/DOCUMENTARY
We are witnesses This might be a great movie, but the pitch makes too many assumptions about our familiarities with the story's plot elements. Good cast, but pitch needs expansion. One Borgie. borgie.jpg (1295 bytes)
The Mailman The director choice doesn't work for me (Shymalan!) and I think this would make a better ESPN hour-long special.   I don't think Malone's life is compelling enough to keep me watching for 90 minutes. Zero Borgies.  
Saying Good-bye Perfect for the Arthouse genre. A creative risk that will be primarily dialogue driven. Good casting, but I am not crazy about Hughes directing...he doesn't do Arthouse. Three Borgies. borgie.jpg (1295 bytes)borgie.jpg (1295 bytes)borgie.jpg (1295 bytes)
MYSTERY/THRILLER
WHITE HOUSE Terribly written pitch. The idea has promise (black presidential candidate faces racism on the campaign trail), but it is not a mystery/thriller. I do like the cast, though. One Borgie. borgie.jpg (1295 bytes)
Pure Expression Why does Paris need protection from Lillith if she loves him? There are some holes in this pitch that need working out. One Borgie. borgie.jpg (1295 bytes)
The Shroud Disclaimer: I created a poster for this pitch.

I think this is a great idea, although I would like more detail on what SPECIFICALLY will happen in the movie. Apparently there was an Outer Limits episode that was similar to this pitch and I can't wait to see both. Three Borgies.

borgie.jpg (1295 bytes)borgie.jpg (1295 bytes)borgie.jpg (1295 bytes)
Retinal Discharge Interesting premise, but the pitch disintegrates into poorly written generalities. The help of a pitch doctor might help you get your ideas on paper a little more clearly. Two Borgies. borgie.jpg (1295 bytes)borgie.jpg (1295 bytes)
Psychosis This is my pitch, so I'll just urge you to check it out and give it your own review! Reviewer's Pitch.
The Things I Owe Him This one has been reworked a ton, which is good, because the pitch I am reading now is a million times better than the first iteration. The last line is a bit vague though, and I wonder if the pitcher knows how the plot will progress. Two Borgies.  
I Want to become You An interesting pitch that ends in a cop-out. What doesn't go according to schedule? Flesh it out and resubmit, because this definitely has promise. Three Borgies. borgie.jpg (1295 bytes)borgie.jpg (1295 bytes)borgie.jpg (1295 bytes)
Deadly Friends I would like to know more about this story, because there are not a lot of plot elements clueing me into what is going on. It sounds possibly interesting. One Borgie. borgie.jpg (1295 bytes)

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